Little bit of love

I am dragging myself off to bed, but know that if I don't write it now, it will mutate and then fade and be gone forever... So write I must.
Tieran's morning was slow and stumbly. (Not a word, I know, but there isn't a better one I can think of right now) He was a bit under the weather, which sadly to say, is kind of nice for us. It generally means he'll slow down a bit, not rage as hard, and often will accept affection or closeness he is normally too powered-up to receive. So we were discussing love. Just in general I guess. We were looking at a coloring book about how God shows us care. The stars, the leaves, our friends and loved ones... This is how God shows us love. Then I asked him how we show him love. He listed a kazillion ways that we show him we care. "Mom snuggles me even when I'm mean" I smiled, "uh huh," and so on. Then I asked him, "Well Tieran, how do you show people love?" He was genuinely stumped. He spent the next five or ten minutes saying things like "By being mean. By pinching. By yelling" I was confused and asked over and over in different ways, from different angles, and he went on and on with things that just don't usually (to the best of my knowledge anyway) summarize LOVE. Finally, he said to me, "I don't think I do show love to people." I pushed: "REALLY?!? Not anyone?" "I don't think I do." "Why not Tieran?" "I don't think I love people." "That's so sad Tieran, not anyone? How come?" "It's too hard." And there you have it. The most honest thing the little guy has spat out in months. It is just too hard. I hugged him tighter, and by the end of his pretty quiet (thank you LORD!) day, he said to me tonight, that he does say "Thank you to God," and that "kinda is like showing love, right?" I say yes indeed. He later says, "Mom, I say thank you to you sometimes. That's kind of a little love right?" Yes Tieran. That is a little love. And the kiss he planted on my left cheek after kissing the right one and saying, "the other one might get jealous...." Is a little love. But for this little man, who said months ago in counseling, "I'm kinda scared, maybe kind of a little scared of having a little bit of love...." It is Enormous.